First Birthday Love Letter

27 Feb

Dear Sweet Baby Kai,

I write this just two days before your first birthday.  I look back on my life just one year ago and I remember so clearly the anticipation I felt, I couldn’t wait to meet you.  The remember the night that I went into labor.  I cooked a spicy Moroccan lamb stew and then I took Tico out on a long winter walk.  It was very cool but with you I walked and walked.  My body felt heavy, because it was, and it felt energizing to be walking.  I did this nearly every evening.  One year later and we still do it together, only now we get to sing songs while we walk and point out fun things along the way.  Sweet Kai, you bring so much joy to my life.

This year has been the best year of my life.  I have loved more this year than I have in my whole life, and I know I have a lifetime of love still to give you.  I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am that you have chosen us as your parents.  Our life is filled with so much love.  Your are the most beautiful soul.

Those first days were both awkward and amazing.  I fumbled my way through changing your diapers and together we figured out the whole nursing thing.  For the record your Papa is far better at changing diapers than I am.  We have a special bond that only Mama and son can have through nursing.  I am so grateful that we figured it out, and you still love drinking the warm sweet milk I make just for you.  And when you do, you gaze lovingly into my eyes.  Sometimes you play with my hair, touch my face, and smile.  I love every minute of it.  It is one of those moments each day that I wish I could just press pause and savor forever.  But I can’t stop time.

mama baby moment

We have had so many great adventures this year.  Our greatest adventure has been the day-to-day moments of life together – all of your little milestones, your beautiful personality shining through, and your smile… it lights up every moment.  We have also done some amazing things together. We visited a farm where you got to pet a baby pig, goats, and peacocks.  We went to the botanical gardens and had a sleepover with your Padrino and Aunt Kristy.  We go hiking a lot where we enjoy all the intricacies and serenity that mother nature provides.  We travelled to Connecticut and Costa Rica to spend time with our family, they all ADORE you to pieces.  We explored the splendor of Italy together.  I could go on and on, there are so many more moments.

Mama kissing baby

Watching you grow and develop in the most beautiful little boy is the best part of my life.  I love it.  Watching and listening to you play with the pots and pans, and sometimes banging along with you! Its a blast. Seeing your fun interactions with Tico and the kitties, and your attempt to chase them is most entertaining.  Oh our little DC row house is just exploding with life! The adorable grunting sounds you make as you dodge through the house on your hands and knees at full speed.  Watch out World Kai is here! The sweet way that you give me kisses with your mouth wide open, and each kiss fills me with more love.  Our evening bath time is so much fun.  I never knew that I too could have so much fun in just a few inches of water.  I love the way you snuggle up with me at night while we sleep.  Oh sweet baby Kai, I could go on and on.  I’m in love.

As we approach this big milestone in just a couple of days, I want to pay tribute to this most incredible year.  I realize that life is always going to be amazing with you, but it is not ever going to be like our very first year together.  We can’t turn back the clocks or calendars.  We will never be able to re-live these milestones with you.  They are once in a lifetime memories. While I know that there are many more to come, I can’t help but shed a few tears knowing that this first year has come and gone so fast.  All that really matters sweet baby Kai is that I love you forever and ever.  You are my baby and you always will be.  You mean the World to me and I can’t wait to spend a lifetime with you.

Happy 1st birthday sweet baby Kai.

With all the love in my heart,
Your Mama

4 Responses to “First Birthday Love Letter”

  1. Bill February 28, 2014 at 8:16 am #

    I even shed a tear for both of you, thanks for sharing. Love Dad.

    • vivevivir March 8, 2014 at 10:02 am #

      Happy that you enjoyed this one Dad! 🙂

  2. Dottie King March 2, 2014 at 6:13 pm #

    Such a wonderful, heartfelt letter. I’m sure Kai will treasure it when he gets older and can read and understand those feelings.

    • vivevivir March 8, 2014 at 10:01 am #

      Thanks Dottie! I hope this blog is still around when Kai is older. Glad you enjoyed the read. 🙂

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