Tag Archives: children

Why I Don’t Blog Much Anymore

19 May

Over the past year or so I’ve written at least a hundred or so blogs in my head.  In some cases entire paragraphs have been “written” and I’ve taken handfuls of blog worthy photos from so many different big and little adventures we’ve been on. I’ve got a dozen new stories to share from Kai’s Adventures in Mexico City, Tapanti, La Paz, and many more. But at the end of the day, none of these stories have made their way onto the blog.  Why? 

Well it’s actually really simple, time. I don’t have time to blog much. Sure, I could spend some of the time I take out of my day walking the dogs at the crack of dawn or the little bit of extra time I spend cooking a healthy meal for my family. But when I ask myself, the answer is always no.  Those moments of my day are just not worth the sacrifice.  Not to mention, the thought of taking time away from my son to blog does not even cross my mind.

I’ve also been very busy… to say the least. We just completed a highly complex and stressful 3,000 mile move, which I had been planning to “document” on this blog and hopefully will recount at some point.  Since we’ve moved, its been a process getting settled, fixing our house, buying cars, getting insurance, helping my father find a place, and the list goes on and on and on. Oh and I started back working just a week after the move.  Needless to say, any “free” time I do find I dedicate it to spending quality time with my family, especially Kai who is growing like a weed, get some down time, and if life permits I try my best to find 30-45 minutes in my day to go for a run.

I become more and more aware of the concept of time every day.  I’ve mentioned it before, but time is the one thing you can’t get back… it is the most precious commodity.  Nearly everyday I have these moments when I just wish that I could press “pause” and freeze time to savor all the little nuances and intricacies of being with Kai at each of his stages and phases of growth. Listening to him sing with true passion.  Watching him dance, and dancing along with him.  Experiencing his excitement over umbrellas and rain coats.  Playing in the dirt while planting a new gardenia for our patio together.  Painting turtles and trees for his Aunt Kristy and Padrino.  Seeing the wonder in his eyes the first time he sees tadpoles.  These are moments I can never get back.  And that is why I don’t blog much anymore.  Maybe someday I will have the time to blog again, but for now I am going to live in the moment and savor these days that I will never get back.

Kai’s First Lesson – Openness

8 Jul

I just have to say, being a mom is quite simply the best.  Just for the purpose of  recording history, today is a beautiful day – sun is shining, birds are singing, and the wind is blowing.  Today I took some time to think about all I have learned in Kai’s first 10 weeks of life, how much my beautiful baby has taught me.  And as I thought about it, he actually started teaching me back when I was pregnant.  The first very distinct lesson is – Openness.

At 32 weeks pregnant my belly had grown too big to run long distances, and so I changed my routine from running to walking which worked out well because it was the dead of winter anyway.  However, my body and mind had been so used to the routine of long runs several times a week, that it didn’t fully know how to function without those bursts of endorphins a few times a week. As they say, endorphins are our most effective and most underutilized anti-depressant. This was also at the tail end of Hurricane Sandy, which had me working 12-14 hours a day to support continuity of operations in DC.

And bam –  I came down with the worst migraine headache of my life, and it lasted for nearly 2 weeks.  At the time, I could not figure out why I had the migraine or where it came from.  I tried my very best to push through it like I do every other ache or pain, but this was just different.  It didn’t subside.  It was waves of pain from the front to the back of head.  I couldn’t sleep.  I could hardly function but I kept going.  I went to the Doctor several times, it wasn’t pregnancy related, and there wasn’t much he could do besides prescribe me medicine I didn’t want to take.  Then one night it got so bad that I landed in the hospital.  They gave me a medication that was considered “safe” during pregnancy but I couldn’t fathom taking it more than once.  I was determined to figure out the root of the problem and so I paid a long overdue visit to my Acupucturist.  And I am so glad that I did.  She is an older woman, in her early seventies who has studied chinese medicine most of her life and raised a family while living around the world.  We got to talking about my symptoms and what had been going on in my life.  Like any ailment, my body (mind and spirit) were out of balance for some reason and my cortisol (stress hormone) was elevated.  As I talked with her the root of the problem came into perspective – I hadn’t run for about 2 weeks which means my body wasn’t getting the endorphins it needed to counteract the stress – and I had been dealing with a sustained high level of stress for several months due to the demands of being in disaster mode at work.  Considering that I couldn’t exactly just go outside for a run, I had to figure out other ways to manage.  We started to discuss breathing and meditation in place of the running.  This was essentially what I do when I run – and is what my body needed without the physical act of running.  I need to open my lungs, heart, and mind.  I needed to think deliberately about maintaining an open fluid state.  She explained that this imbalance is the result of the mind being clenched like a fist.  And my Acupuncturist right then and there pointed it out, she said “you see, you are already learning from your child”.  Tears came streaming down my face.  He had blessed me with my first lesson – Openness.

A month and a half later I was reminded of this lesson again.  Natural childbirth is all about opening your body up.  I visualized this for hours as a meditated during labor.  Later on a professional photographer who worked at the hospital came by to take photos of our baby. She was also of Asian decent.  We got to talking and she asked us about our baby’s name, and we told her it was “Kai”.  She commented that is was a beautiful name and went on to explain that the word “Kai” means “open” in Chinese.  I got goosebumps and chills at this moment and thought back to that afternoon in my Acupunturist’s office.  I knew about many of the meanings of our baby’s name but I did not know this one until that moment.  Indeed, my sweet baby Kai already began teaching me before he was born.  I am so deeply grateful that he chose us to be his parents.  I love you sweet baby Kai.

 

You cannot sow seeds with clenched fists.  To sow we must open our fists.

Below are some images that bring me back to earlier experiences in my life where other children taught me about openness.  Openness of the mind, and openness of the heart.  Enjoy!

Photo Children's Open Painted Hands

Photo Children painting nature scenes

Savoring Cambodia

9 Jun

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Bright pink and ruffled dragon fruits are poised gracefully in a large pile on a wooden table. Deep bowls filled with yellow turmeric, green kaffir lime leaves, and scarlet red hot chilies complete this illusionary sunset. To the left a woman sits indian style trimming meat in preparation for drying, her golden silk veil eluding to the expansion of Islam in traditionally Buddhist Cambodia. A woman walks through the tight market alley ways with a long pole stretched across her shoulder. From each end of the pole, two baskets hang down perfectly balanced. One is filled with a heaping mound of shredded green mango mixed with shredded carrots. On the other side there are a series of smaller bowls filled with fresh lime slices, dried fish pieces, ground peanuts, and a jug of fish sauce. These are makings of the Khmer version of mango salad. She carefully opens a plastic baggy and places a fistful of mango slaw inside, then she tops it with a bit of peanut, dried fish, squeeze of lime and a dash of fish sauce. She hands it over to her customer, lunch is served, and the she is paid 1,000 riles (25 cents). These are just some of Cambodia’s simple everyday culinary wonders.

Bright pink dragon fruit in the market
Fresh produce of all sorts is abound. I walk around the market with the tuk tuk driver I befriended, Pan, and we contemplate which place would best for lunch. At another stall a young man mixes turmeric, rice flour, water and egg into a thin batter for Khmer pancakes. This seems like an ideal stop. He laddels some batter onto a hot flat cooking surface, with a spoon he distributes the batter evenly and forms a large bright yellow circle. There it sizzles for several minutes before we carefully turns it over with a long flat wooden cooking tool. He then places mixture of cooked ground chicken, fresh crisp bean sprouts, spring onions, and a sprinkle of chiles into the middle of the cooking pancake. The pancake is then carefully turned over, closing in on the savoury filling and forming a bright yellow half moon. After just a few moments he slides the pancake onto an oblong plastic dish, its browned & crispy edges hang over the side of the dish. It comes out served with a small bowl of sauce – a concoction of ground peanuts fused with freshly squeezed lime juice and fish sauce – a handful of bright green lettuce leaves and slices of fresh cucumber. Mr. Pan shows me how to ea this delectable ensamble. Using your hands, you place a piece of the stuffed turmeric pancake on top of a leaf of lettuce and drizzle a spoonful of the sauce on top, allowing the sauce to run through the pancake & crevices of the lettuce. One bite and the blending of the fresh and bright ingredients is refreshing and satisfying. It’s the Cambodian version of the Turkish gozleme, the Costa Rican chorreada, or a savoury French crepe. And this is just one of a multitude of divine Khmer delights Cambodia has to offer.

I spent the afternoon afternoon taking with Pan. It gave me the opportunity to listen and learn about Khmer culture and daily life in this fine country. He is one of the older Cambodians I have seen and met, and he is just 41 years old. Cambodia has a very young population because the genocide in the 1970s left so many young children without parents or elders. Pan remembers well but he has made peace with it in his heart. He is also deeply motivated to strengthen Cambodia at all different levels. He has a vision to start an eco-tourism cooperative by getting together a diverse group of local Cambodian owned businesses (tuk tuk drivers, small hotels, family run restaurants, artists, photographers, local farms, etc.) and organizing unique cultural & nature oriented tours for foreign visitors. For now he is a very successful tuk tuk driver enjoying life with his wife and two children. Our conversation carries on into family, education, and the like. His son is 18 years old and just finished high school, the first in the family to go through school. His daughter will be turning just 3 years old in a couple of months. He later shares that he and his wife adopted their daughter, Myste which means ‘among the flowers’, from the local hospital in town. In Cambodia there are many orphaned children and its obvious that most do not have the means to provide for large families and at the same time birth control is also a commodity for the privledged. Pan and his wife told the Doctor at the hospital that they wanted to adopt a baby, the hospital did due diligence checking on their home, and bank account. Several months later Myste, at less than 4 weeks old, came into their lives. Chills came over me as he told me the story and showed me pictures of his wife & daughter, so much pride for his family. And even more beautiful is to see Cambodia’s effort to place orphaned children in average income-level local communities, where they can be loved by their communities and stay close to their roots. Ten years ago this was not as prevalent, as the tourism industry hadn’t grown enough to fuel the local economy to a scale that could foster this type of community development. This is just another way I see how deeply Cambodia is restored in peace and stability.

We continued to talk about life – and all things related to food. Like in all cultures, food is an important part of daily life here in the Kingdom of Wonder. Food is prepared and sold everywhere you look. On a little dirt road on the outskirts of town an older woman sits in the street. He has prepared a little fire, no more than 4 by 5 inches using just a couple of wooden sticks. To her right side is a small red plastic bucket. She takes a spoonful of batter and places it inside a small hand held waffle iron that rests on the hot coals. A slight sizzle sound is heard. After a minute or so she turned the piping hot iron, ensuring both sides are cooked to a perfect golden brown. Children on their way to school line-up at her street kitchen to savour a Khmer waffle.

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Lets talk about where the food here comes from. About the Land. And the people that work the land to make this bounty available. Siem Reap and its surrounding area is as flat as that turmeric pancake I had for lunch. There are also several natural and man made lakes here that provide water for irrigation, especially in the dry season. This land has been heavily famed for several thousand years. Over 1 million people survived by the ground I walk on during the Ancient Khmer Empire. Cultivating the land has always been a way of life for Cambodians yesterday and today. Like most “lost” civilizations, there is no exact proven fact as to why the ancient Khmer civilization here collapsed. Like the ancient Mayans and Incas, it is believed that the ancient Khmer civilization fell due to famine caused by desertification of the land after over a thousand years of over farming, leaving the land stripped of vital nutrients & minerals required to sustain productive soils. Much of the land was given a rest from these intensive agricultural practices for at least a few hundred years, allowing the Earth to rest and regain its strength through natural succession. Siem Reap has grown significantly in the last 35 years, and along with this is an increasing demand for greater food production. Many small villages survived by subsistence agriculture (producing only the food needed for their local community) but with the pressures of a globalized and tourism-driven Siem Reap, many have converted their land into larger mono-cultures producing a single variety of rice, cattle, crocodile, bananas, or pineapple. Ultimately provoking the same problems that led to the theorized fall of their ancestors. Worse yet is the rise of aristocrats from China and the Middle East (namely Saudi Arabia) that are buying up whole farms – and even entire villages – to produce rice & other agricultural commodities for export. Whole villages, and their people, are getting the land pulled right out from under them as it is being sold to these foreigners by the Cambodian government. These once sustainable and subsistent farmers loose all their autonomy – dignity & pride. Their land, once again being stripped of life. This is a grave injustice. And, I can’t help but ask why? After the Cambodian civil way in to 1970s, all existing records of land ownership and titles were burned. Leaving the villages and people without any evidence of their ownership of the land they survived by for hundreds of years. Without these records, the government is able to sell the land to foreigners at great profits, while destroying the livelihood for many at the same time. Cambodia is not alone in this nasty land-use transition. The same phenomenon is a growing problem in Laos and throughout much of Africa.

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Despite this sobering picture of Khmer agriculture, and its globalized demise, there are also a growing movement of small scale home grown organic agriculture. Several NGOs have sprung up that are dedicated to facilitating women’s empowerment through micro-economic development vis-a-vis home-based gardens. One of the major activities fostered by this movement is supporting women to use their existing land resources around their homes for small organic gardens. First they feed their family with the bounty they produce and whatever is left over is sold to one of a few socially & environmentally conscious restaurants in town. While this movement is one a much smaller scale than the foreign-owned mono-culture movement, it is still a powerful example for Cambodians. And with Pan’s vision and the home-based organic farming movement, Cambodia has a good chance at much brighter & peaceful future where future generations can flourish in the Kingdom of Wonder.

 

Recommendations in Siem Reap, Cambodia

Restaurants

Hotels

Dicho del Domingo – Dia 93

2 Apr

On Sundays (Domingos) I am going to highlight a quote (dicho) of the day.  I think of it as “food for thought” on the day of rest and reflection as we head into a new week – and take another step in the journey for life.  I won’t always post a dicho on Domingos, but I’ll try to be consistent.  Sometimes I’ll also post a photo from one of my past or present travels.  So if the quote doesn’t resonate with you, well, hopefully the photo will inspire some good thinking on life.  I always look forward to your comments and reflections on “Dicho del Domingo” posts.  Disfrutalo!

Quote – Dia 93

Años de ineducación apendejan a la gente    – Molotov

Years without education breeds ignorance and fear in the people     – Molotov

Photo – Dia 93

 

 

Children playing outside of a school in the Lares Valley of Peru

Children playing outside of a school in the high mountain region of Lares Valley in Peru. This small subsistent community carry on many of the Ancient Incan traditional farming practices and spirituality. (August 2008)

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