Tag Archives: women

Dicho del Domingo – New Day

15 Sep

Sunset at Playa Langosta

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of god. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make and manifest the glory of god that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

– Marianne Williamson

Seasons of Change & Liberation

2 Oct

The past week has been a whirlwind. The seasons collide and Fall is upon us. At this very moment the stars align and bring forward an opportunity for change in my own life. Sometimes I don’t know exactly what the catalyst is, perhaps its all of the energies coming into one at a particular moment and it ignites a signal that now is the time for change. Change is an opportunity. But its also incredibly frightening. You can feel like your whole life has been turned upside down. Or better yet, that you just made a decision that brought forward a change and deliberately turned your own life upside down. In a nut shell that was what this week was for me.

The change occurring in my life is on the professional side of life, which for me is wrapped-up in my personal emotions and purpose in life. My “career” is one that I’ve created… its synonymous with my last blog post. In building my career and business, I’ve built my own life in the process. It is all so deeply intertwined. I’ve spent the last 7 years of my life building and nurturing a business and a couple of organizations. I’ve poured my sweat, love, and tears into building these institutions. It has been incredibly challenging, exhilarating, gratifying, and disheartening all at the same time. There have been many moments along the road where I’ve stopped and looked within and found that my own personal well was empty. That I’d given so much in the process that there was nothing left to me. I’ve lost balance many times along the way, and forced myself to take the time to replenish my well, regain strength, and carry on. Each of these organizations, with all their beauties & flaws, are a reflection of many things I am passionate about in life. They are in and of themselves catalysts of social change in varying forms.

There have been so many “signs” that this has been coming, but I really had no idea when I would get up the courage to make it happen. In December of last year, I travelled home to Costa Rica for a weekend. It was the Reunion for my graduate school, the United Nations-mandated University for Peace. Despite being incredibly busy with work, I knew I needed to make the trip. Here I met a lovely colleague, we connected and talked for quite a while. She shared with me that I am in the midst of my “Saturn Return” and that it was a time of major change in my life and that it was going to be difficult but that it would work out for the better. Facinating… First of all, I really had no idea what “Saturn Return” even meant until I got back home and researched it on the web. I had put this moment out of sight out of mind until last week, when it came charging into my life. I just knew, my gut instinct, that this is the moment to make the change.

For over a year, I’ve been feeling a lack of professional growth. Sure, I continue to learn new things everyday. I talk to our management team about it and we tried to make changes & concessions several times over. But I’ve continued to feel incredibly stuck in a position that forces me to fill roles and responsibilities that don’t draw on my strengths. Yes, I CAN do all these things, I’ve learned to do them out of necessity. I’ve tried (for years) to grow to like to do these things, but I’ve also grown into my own potential and with each passing day finding myself less and less happy in these roles.. I just don’t have time to fill these unsatisfying roles and also capitalize on my strengths by doing the things that derive my energy & passion. I’m constantly battling against time. Do I take 10 hours to work on legal filings? Or, Do I spend those 10 hours charting a vision & implementation strategy for a new program? Both are equally important at all levels. But only one of those things draws on my strengths. Unfortunately, there is only time for one or the other… and well I am never going to get those 10 hours back. This is the same time conundrum I wrote about a couple of months ago. It had turned into an intractable conflict in my life. Yes, there are good days. And I have learned more in the past 7 years than I would have ever learned in a “standard job” over 20 years. I am grateful for all I have learned in the process. But the bottom line is that it had become toxic to me and the only way to make it healthy was to make a change. It was the moment I realized that this is just not working for me. So the decision was mine and I made it.

I made the decision to exit. And I had no idea what it meant for me. Its not like I had my dream job waiting for me when I made the decision. I hadn’t even thought about looking for jobs, I haven’t even updated my resume in over 7 years! The stars aligned and BAM I made a pretty big decision. I found myself empty again, but in a different way (you know as they say in Asia, “same same but different”). Empty as in Taoist empty. Sure I felt scared and vulnerable. I felt incredibly fearful and anxious at first. But the emptiness that came with the decision to make this change has become very liberating. I felt empty – open to all the new possibilities the world has to offer. Free – from the burden of the daunting challenges I faced every day.

Then a good friend who lives all the way in Singapore sent an email that she herself had received from a professional mentor… it was like a 2 page interactive manifesto on the ‘Journey to Self’… it was called “Stop the World I Want to Get Off”. Ah timing can be incredible! If telepathy exists, I swear that it was happening at this very moment. This short manifesto on life reflected the essence of the challenges I need to face & deal with at this very moment in my life. This change in my professional life is reflective of the first step I need to take in overcoming these obstacles to living the real life that is meant for me. That is me… I am the person staring back from the words encapsulated on these 2 pages. I am not ready to go into all of the things that this manifesto on self is about or how it reflects me and how I got to where I am… I’ll save that for a blog post 20 years from now. Bottom line, I am an “over-functioner” to the point that it can become self-destructive. What I know now is that this change I’ve brought about in my life is an opportunity to grow and improve my own life. To take one step forward in becoming less of an “over-functioner” for others and become more of a functioner for myself – to live the balanced & positive life I deserve to live. For me, being “selfish” and making decision based on what is best for me is counter to my nature. My instinct is to make decisions based on what is best for everyone else. So simply making the decision that I did was the first step forward. I don’t think my selfless nature will go away, only now it will be balanced with factoring in my own needs.

So there you have it. Four days ago I made a big decision and I had no idea what it really “meant”. And well, day 4 of its aftermath has brought me to some important self realizations that I otherwise would not have been able to put into perspective and begin growing from. I still don’t know what the future has in store for me. Or where I will be 4 months from now. But I am okay with that for now. I want this transition to go smoothly – and for once in my life – gracefully. I don’t fully know what this change and transition will be, but I know it is the RIGHT thing for me. With that, I conclude this day by making a few promises.

  • I promise that I will take my own needs into consideration in making decisions that commit me to something
  • I promise that I will be more “mentally present” when I am with my husband and family
  • I promise that I will make more time to enjoy life, enjoy the people I love & savor the moments

Time – Our Most Precious Commodity

25 Aug

wordle in color for the blog

Lately I’ve been feeling as though there simply isn’t enough time in the day.  Why can’t a day be twice as long?  Okay, yes I get the science behind “time” and that I can’t just change the fundamental structure of the universe.  But I’ve been finding myself in a predicament that its just not humanly possible to be in three places at one time, or answering more than 2 calls and an email all at the same exact same moment.

We’ve all heard the saying, “time is money… invest it wisely”.   I’ve always kept it there in the back of my mind.  And sure, I’ve gotten really busy at work or a major deadline is looming – and there that saying was in the back of my mind to keep me focused & on-point.  But never like it is today, or this week, or next week for that matter.  Lately it’s been like my life is set at overdrive and I have to keep the race car on the track and prevent it from crashing.  Yet, I’m completely challenged by the fact that there aren’t enough hours in the day to do all the things required to keep the race car on the track.  You know what I mean… make the impossible somehow possible.  Most of us have been there at least once.

For those that can’t relate to the race car analogy.  It’s like I’ve been hit with Tsunami wave of stuff requiring my attention – and everyone wants answers & solutions now or 10 minutes ago.  Emails flow in at a rate of 1 per minute.  I’m on a conference call and by the time its over I have 3 voice mails from people that need to be called back, and 20 more emails that need to be answered.  And I’m already 10 minutes late to the next meeting.  The weekend comes… and well my mind is never “quiet” from work.  I need the weekend to think through challenges and come-up with solutions that I can make happen during the week.  Then there are those sacred vacations.  Yes, sacred vacations – when my mind finally goes quiet and starts to dream & live in the beauty of the moment.

I know that I am not the first person to find themselves in this place.  If we can’t figure out how to get more than 24 hours out of a day then how can we do all that we need to do and do it well?  At times, the information flows at a speed that I can’t even filter out whats important and what needs my most immediate attention.  Its not always this “bad”… there are those rare days, once every couple of months, that I can actually spend a whole day working on a paper or a project.  I treasure those days.  Its like a day of peace.  I love it.  On these days I can go for a run in the morning and not feel guilty about it.

In the midst of this major dilemma I am having over time – and my lack of ability to get more than 24 hours out of a day.  I’m finding a lot of my “time” is spent dealing with politics – navigating power & money hungry DC players.  I make my very best attempt to influence things in the background so that the right thing happens for the right reason with not direct benefit to myself personally.  Its a twisted battle of good versus evil, but in this little microcosm that defines my professional life.  Do I really have time for these battles?  No, but I try to pick and choose them wisely.  I’m not always wise though in these decision, I still have a lot to learn.

As I reflect on this conundrum on time, I think about the broader context of how finite time really is.  On Tuesday I felt the grumbling begin and then my office began to shake – it was an earthquake alright.  As I biked home that evening, I stopped at a red light in front of the World Bank building and the sound of their alerting system gave me goosebumps… the sound reverberated through the streets of downtown Washington DC, “There has been a region-wide earthquake, everyone must evacuate the building.”  The World Bank building did not collapse, but this moment meant so much more.  It reminded us (and me) about the fundamental limitations of time.  All this time we invest day-in and day-out in creating & building this “infrastructure”, or however you characterize the fruits of your labour, could somehow become completely meaningless history in a matter of seconds.

I’ve come to the conclusion that time truly is the most precious commodity.  And unlike other commodities, time is the one commodity that you can’t get more of.  I need more days of “peace”, where the information flow & task lists are manageable.  Where my professional life is balanced with my personal needs.  Guess that is my goal for the next 5 years of my life.

Color photo of a musician in Madrid, Spain

I wonder what advice this musician from Madrid would share about time?

Virtues from Asia

15 Aug

Color photo of Author Walking through the forest in Thailand

My time traveling through Asia has come to end.  So much to absorb, its almost sensory overload… I’ve only shared just a few ounces with you through this blog but I am sure I will “travel to Asia” again through my writing.  I have just one word to sum up the experience – Gratitude.  I could go on to list the multitude of moments during this trip that have taken my breath away, that I am forever grateful for.  However, here are 5  Buddhist words of wisdom that I learned in more ways than one during this adventure through Southeast Asia.  I hope you’ve enjoyed the journey!

  1. Personal Growth – He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings, and all beings in his own Self, and looks on everything with an impartial eye.
  2. Family & Love – A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden.
  3. Paradigm – Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.
  4. Life Philosophy – I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done…There is nothing so disobedient as an undisciplined mind, and there is nothing so obedient as a disciplined mind.
  5. Professional Growth – An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.
Khop Chai Lai Lai Deu – ຂອບໃຈຫຼາຍໆເດີ

Deep into the Heart of the Mekong

23 Jun

Monks walking through the streets of Luang Prabang

Low hanging clouds drape themselves over brilliant green mountains that build up from the sandy shores of the Mekong River.  Large swaths of bamboo transcend into thick tropical rainforests.  Dried bamboo thatched roof huts built on stilts dot the shore line and in the foreground small herds of water buffalo graze on the grassy hills, completing this incredible landscape.  I find myself swept away by the beauty and peace deep in the heart of the Mekong River basin in Northern Laos.

This is probably one of the most laid back places in the world.  The days go by so slow and I’ve taken a step back in time.  I started my journey here in Luang Prabang, a little river town bursting with color and flavor.  It is also a modern-day spiritual center in the Buddhist world.  Several Wats with their golden temples and intricately painted pagodas blossom out of the bright green flora.  Hundreds of monks of all ages dressed in their saffron-colored robes meander the streets and their dwellings.  Before dawn, they walk throughout the community with large containers (called Almsbowls) reciting prayers as they visit each home, most are no more than small one room shelters made of wood and bamboo.  At each stop a fellow Lao places a spoonful of sticky rice in each Monk’s almsbowl.   This is the traditional Buddhist practice of giving alms and serves as a daily reminder for how important it is to give, no matter how much or how little you have.  There is so much that we, Americans and others of more wealthy backgrounds, have to learn from the simple art of giving – and trusting – that the people of Lao have so gracefully mastered.  Giving is certainly an intrinsic value from the Buddhist roots but it is further institutionalized in daily life through the current Communist political environment.

Landscape of the Mekong river at sunrise

The spirit of Northern Laos has already given me so many gifts in this short time.  Probably the most significant is a glimpse into Lao family structures and the place of women in society.  Like in most of Asia, and the world (unfortunately), women are expected to be subservient to the men.  But in Laos it feels a bit different.  Men here, it appears at least, assume much more hands-on roles as father’s to their children, fully sharing the parenting duties alongside the mother.  Women are also very entrepreneurial – producing crafts, farming the land, weaving silk into the most beautiful scarves, and setting-up stalls in the local street markets to sell their goods.  This movement in local micro-economic development, driven by Lao women, is a more recent development that has been aided by the growth of the tourism industry.  Most of the products that are produced include fine fabrics with ornate tribal designs, cloths children’s books, silk decor galore, brightly colored quilts with intricately cross-stitched scenes of the Mekong, animals and daily Lao life, and stunning gold-leafed paintings on rice paper.  A myriad of handmade crafts perfectly suited to fulfill any tourist passing through this rich land.  The growth of tourism in Laos (similar to Cambodia) has fueled the local economy, and in the process given rise to a heightened position for women in society.  Dabbled about in the street markets are women selling their art and their young babies sleep and eat and play right on top of the silk scarves and quilts we are shopping for.

Women weaving a silk scarf in her street stall

Like women in all parts of the world, women in Lao also face the challenge of balancing the need to provide for and at the same time care for the children.  I find this inspiring and a reminder for how much more we still have to do to further advance the position of women in society.  The road to true gender equality is still a distant vision on the horizon, and as I travel and as the years pass I find myself increasingly passionate about women’s rights and gender equality.  My heart breaks when I read about the reality many young girls face in Yemen being forced to marry at 8 years old and repeatedly raped and beaten by their “husbands” – and worse yet, they aren’t allowed to get divorced.  Tears stream down my face when I learn about young girls, who haven’t even reached puberty – sold as sex slaves – beaten by their owners and forced to eat dog feces to banish any hint of self-confidence and self-worth.  It’s probably hard for many you to read those words but it is the raw truth and we can’t hide behind rose-colored glasses any longer.  And while these are examples of the “worst of it”, at the same time women who have to work to put bread on the table and care for the children day-in and day out while (for many, not all) their “husbands” spend days at the bar or gambling their money away is also gravely unjust.  And this is why in Laos, families often prefer to marry their daughters to men who have spent at least several years as monks living at the wat, for they are considered closer to God and better suited to be a respectable & hard-working spouses.  Southeast Asia has brought forward the perilous challenges we face as humanity in achieving gender equality, and quite frankly I find it my responsibility to raise awareness so that we can bridge this gap in our lifetime.  Back to Laos… I also heard that more young Lao women everyday are receiving higher education in local colleges than their male counterparts.  And that this is in large part due to the fact that they are able to begin making money producing & selling their crafts at a young age, save the earnings, and invest it in their own education – their future.  This alone gives me a reason for hope – that it is possible to achieve gender equality in our lifetime.  So I guess that in itself is a good excuse to visit Laos and buy the beautiful silk scarves woven by these determined young women.  Women do hold up half the sky.

Man fishing in the Mekong River

I also appreciate the feeling of traditional daily life in Laos.  The pace is so slow and seemingly deliberate.  Watching young kids play naked along the rocks of the Mekong, jumping like little cannon balls into the sediment-filled water.  Meanwhile men tinker from rock to rock checking their fishing nets for the next meal.  The young girls who help their mothers make crepes for sale at the little street side stalls.  And the farmers that tend to their goats, rice paddies, and sugar cane plots that dot the lush green hillsides.  These are all glimpses into daily Lao life.  it is a good life.  Though it’s not always easy, it is wholesome life.

Girls playing in the field

Reading Suggestions –

Savoring Cambodia

9 Jun

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Bright pink and ruffled dragon fruits are poised gracefully in a large pile on a wooden table. Deep bowls filled with yellow turmeric, green kaffir lime leaves, and scarlet red hot chilies complete this illusionary sunset. To the left a woman sits indian style trimming meat in preparation for drying, her golden silk veil eluding to the expansion of Islam in traditionally Buddhist Cambodia. A woman walks through the tight market alley ways with a long pole stretched across her shoulder. From each end of the pole, two baskets hang down perfectly balanced. One is filled with a heaping mound of shredded green mango mixed with shredded carrots. On the other side there are a series of smaller bowls filled with fresh lime slices, dried fish pieces, ground peanuts, and a jug of fish sauce. These are makings of the Khmer version of mango salad. She carefully opens a plastic baggy and places a fistful of mango slaw inside, then she tops it with a bit of peanut, dried fish, squeeze of lime and a dash of fish sauce. She hands it over to her customer, lunch is served, and the she is paid 1,000 riles (25 cents). These are just some of Cambodia’s simple everyday culinary wonders.

Bright pink dragon fruit in the market
Fresh produce of all sorts is abound. I walk around the market with the tuk tuk driver I befriended, Pan, and we contemplate which place would best for lunch. At another stall a young man mixes turmeric, rice flour, water and egg into a thin batter for Khmer pancakes. This seems like an ideal stop. He laddels some batter onto a hot flat cooking surface, with a spoon he distributes the batter evenly and forms a large bright yellow circle. There it sizzles for several minutes before we carefully turns it over with a long flat wooden cooking tool. He then places mixture of cooked ground chicken, fresh crisp bean sprouts, spring onions, and a sprinkle of chiles into the middle of the cooking pancake. The pancake is then carefully turned over, closing in on the savoury filling and forming a bright yellow half moon. After just a few moments he slides the pancake onto an oblong plastic dish, its browned & crispy edges hang over the side of the dish. It comes out served with a small bowl of sauce – a concoction of ground peanuts fused with freshly squeezed lime juice and fish sauce – a handful of bright green lettuce leaves and slices of fresh cucumber. Mr. Pan shows me how to ea this delectable ensamble. Using your hands, you place a piece of the stuffed turmeric pancake on top of a leaf of lettuce and drizzle a spoonful of the sauce on top, allowing the sauce to run through the pancake & crevices of the lettuce. One bite and the blending of the fresh and bright ingredients is refreshing and satisfying. It’s the Cambodian version of the Turkish gozleme, the Costa Rican chorreada, or a savoury French crepe. And this is just one of a multitude of divine Khmer delights Cambodia has to offer.

I spent the afternoon afternoon taking with Pan. It gave me the opportunity to listen and learn about Khmer culture and daily life in this fine country. He is one of the older Cambodians I have seen and met, and he is just 41 years old. Cambodia has a very young population because the genocide in the 1970s left so many young children without parents or elders. Pan remembers well but he has made peace with it in his heart. He is also deeply motivated to strengthen Cambodia at all different levels. He has a vision to start an eco-tourism cooperative by getting together a diverse group of local Cambodian owned businesses (tuk tuk drivers, small hotels, family run restaurants, artists, photographers, local farms, etc.) and organizing unique cultural & nature oriented tours for foreign visitors. For now he is a very successful tuk tuk driver enjoying life with his wife and two children. Our conversation carries on into family, education, and the like. His son is 18 years old and just finished high school, the first in the family to go through school. His daughter will be turning just 3 years old in a couple of months. He later shares that he and his wife adopted their daughter, Myste which means ‘among the flowers’, from the local hospital in town. In Cambodia there are many orphaned children and its obvious that most do not have the means to provide for large families and at the same time birth control is also a commodity for the privledged. Pan and his wife told the Doctor at the hospital that they wanted to adopt a baby, the hospital did due diligence checking on their home, and bank account. Several months later Myste, at less than 4 weeks old, came into their lives. Chills came over me as he told me the story and showed me pictures of his wife & daughter, so much pride for his family. And even more beautiful is to see Cambodia’s effort to place orphaned children in average income-level local communities, where they can be loved by their communities and stay close to their roots. Ten years ago this was not as prevalent, as the tourism industry hadn’t grown enough to fuel the local economy to a scale that could foster this type of community development. This is just another way I see how deeply Cambodia is restored in peace and stability.

We continued to talk about life – and all things related to food. Like in all cultures, food is an important part of daily life here in the Kingdom of Wonder. Food is prepared and sold everywhere you look. On a little dirt road on the outskirts of town an older woman sits in the street. He has prepared a little fire, no more than 4 by 5 inches using just a couple of wooden sticks. To her right side is a small red plastic bucket. She takes a spoonful of batter and places it inside a small hand held waffle iron that rests on the hot coals. A slight sizzle sound is heard. After a minute or so she turned the piping hot iron, ensuring both sides are cooked to a perfect golden brown. Children on their way to school line-up at her street kitchen to savour a Khmer waffle.

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Lets talk about where the food here comes from. About the Land. And the people that work the land to make this bounty available. Siem Reap and its surrounding area is as flat as that turmeric pancake I had for lunch. There are also several natural and man made lakes here that provide water for irrigation, especially in the dry season. This land has been heavily famed for several thousand years. Over 1 million people survived by the ground I walk on during the Ancient Khmer Empire. Cultivating the land has always been a way of life for Cambodians yesterday and today. Like most “lost” civilizations, there is no exact proven fact as to why the ancient Khmer civilization here collapsed. Like the ancient Mayans and Incas, it is believed that the ancient Khmer civilization fell due to famine caused by desertification of the land after over a thousand years of over farming, leaving the land stripped of vital nutrients & minerals required to sustain productive soils. Much of the land was given a rest from these intensive agricultural practices for at least a few hundred years, allowing the Earth to rest and regain its strength through natural succession. Siem Reap has grown significantly in the last 35 years, and along with this is an increasing demand for greater food production. Many small villages survived by subsistence agriculture (producing only the food needed for their local community) but with the pressures of a globalized and tourism-driven Siem Reap, many have converted their land into larger mono-cultures producing a single variety of rice, cattle, crocodile, bananas, or pineapple. Ultimately provoking the same problems that led to the theorized fall of their ancestors. Worse yet is the rise of aristocrats from China and the Middle East (namely Saudi Arabia) that are buying up whole farms – and even entire villages – to produce rice & other agricultural commodities for export. Whole villages, and their people, are getting the land pulled right out from under them as it is being sold to these foreigners by the Cambodian government. These once sustainable and subsistent farmers loose all their autonomy – dignity & pride. Their land, once again being stripped of life. This is a grave injustice. And, I can’t help but ask why? After the Cambodian civil way in to 1970s, all existing records of land ownership and titles were burned. Leaving the villages and people without any evidence of their ownership of the land they survived by for hundreds of years. Without these records, the government is able to sell the land to foreigners at great profits, while destroying the livelihood for many at the same time. Cambodia is not alone in this nasty land-use transition. The same phenomenon is a growing problem in Laos and throughout much of Africa.

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Despite this sobering picture of Khmer agriculture, and its globalized demise, there are also a growing movement of small scale home grown organic agriculture. Several NGOs have sprung up that are dedicated to facilitating women’s empowerment through micro-economic development vis-a-vis home-based gardens. One of the major activities fostered by this movement is supporting women to use their existing land resources around their homes for small organic gardens. First they feed their family with the bounty they produce and whatever is left over is sold to one of a few socially & environmentally conscious restaurants in town. While this movement is one a much smaller scale than the foreign-owned mono-culture movement, it is still a powerful example for Cambodians. And with Pan’s vision and the home-based organic farming movement, Cambodia has a good chance at much brighter & peaceful future where future generations can flourish in the Kingdom of Wonder.

 

Recommendations in Siem Reap, Cambodia

Restaurants

Hotels

Love & Joy for Khmer

7 Jun

Royal palms reach into the heavans.  Beads of sweat drip down my face, legs, entire body.  Motos and Tuk Tuks glide past as a peddle along the recently paved roads.  The edges of the roads are painted red with patches of sun scortched earth and dust.  Many of these improvised transportation vehicles carry 10 times their weight in cargo… people; lumber; goods for sale –  you name it, it can be transported with just one little motor.  Then a buddhist monk flies by on moto with his ochre yellow garmet flowing in the wind like the sail of a boat over the sea.  Wooden hand carts are pushed down the road carrying wild mushrooms, raw snails, and bright green lotus flowers – all ready to be made into a variety of culinary delights.  Pungent flowers intoxicate my senses.  Sculptures of hindu and buddhist inspiration blend into the forest edge.  Children dressed in dark blue shorts and white shirts bound for school peddle by on bicycles three times their size.  All together we make our way down the dusty streets that wind through beautiful forested areas.  Listening to yellow marked blackbirds, croaking frogs, and a diversity of insects buzzing around – this is some of the natural music that helps to define this landscape.

Motorcycle carrying many people and cargo

Other children, less fortunate, sell bananas; water; books; silk scarves; and little woven bracelts to tourists passing through.  Their clothing tattered and for many, their hair is that rusty reddish brown color from a childhood of malnutrition.  They are persistent, determined to survive and build a better life for themselves and their families.   The markets are bustling with every type of meat, vegetable, herb and spice one can imagine – and food is being served from one staff while live river fish wiggle around on a wooden slab waiting to be sold. The aromas in the market are of some complex concotion, I can’t even identify a single ingredient – but more on the markets and cuisine later.  Lepers and disabled youth with missing legs from landmine explosions also dot this landscape.  And their voices are no longer silenced.  Women gather around a produce stall in the market and pour over photos of a new hospital center that recently opened and is dedicated to caring for the disabled.  There is hope.  And I am in the Kingdom of Cambodia.

Everything here just feels different.  I can’t quite explain the feeling.  The people. The culture.  The food. The air. The earth.  All so deeply defined by centuries of complex and compunded history.  Ancient human civilization is known to have existed in this vast & rich land since the Holocene era (6,000 BCE) and the Neolithic eras.  But it was really the civilizations during the 3rd, 4th, and 5th centuries that coaleced into what I’m experiencing as modern day Cambodia.  I can’t help but intermix modern and ancient Cambodian roots, for relation of past and present is so deeply connected here.

The Khmer Empire…. Angkor Wat, the heart of Cambodia.  The Khmer Empire began in 802 AD and today still defines in many ways the identity and essense of what it means to be Cambodian.  The Khmer language lives on.  Cuisine and cultural customs are still identified as Khmer.  Theravada Buddhism is evident in every step of daily life here.  It signifies the doctrine of analysis.  It encourages critical investigation in all things and reasoning instead of blind faith.  It came to Cambodia from Sri Lankan monks in the 13th Century – and here it lives on in daily Cambodian life.  In Theravada, it is believed that the path to enlightenment requires releasing one’s mind and being from their own ignorance to the truth.  Stepping beyond society’s desire and influence for oppulence.  Theravad and buddhism is far more than this but for the purposes on my own analysis of this “new” landscape its essense has been revealed.

Therevada Buddhist

I haven’t quite made sense of how Theravada Buddhism has survived Cambodia’s bloody history.  The Khmer regime of Jayavarman VII was known as one of the bloodiest in all of human history, which ultimately lead to the building of Angkor Wat, one of the largest & most intricate temples in the world.  And it tyranny was only matched by the Pol Pot Regime in the 1970s that characterized Cambodia’s genocide.  Nearly one third of Cambodia’s people perished at Pol Pot’s evil hands in the 1970s.   And another third of the Country fled as refugees to Thailand, Laos, China, the United States, and any other place of escape from the pervasive bloodshed.  Over 25 years later, the scars left from this modern genocide are evident from the moment you brush the dust from your eyes.  But yet there’s a special beauty revealed in the process, uncovering Cambodia’s cultural resilience is truly inspiring.

People here are friendly.  At every passing by on the bicycle a slight hello and glowing smile is exchanged.  Cambodians work hard and aim to please.  Families are very nuclear.  Their cuisine is distinct and they take great care in preparing their food, both in the fields that surround this entire area and in the outdoor kitchens of every home.  Men and women alike work hard to provide for their families.  Here most work is related to the booming tourism market.  So many unique niches make-up the tourist experience and fuel a stronger Cambodian economy at the local level on down to the individual and family levels.  Masseuses, tour guides, chefs, wait staff, artists, you name it – the jobs in tourism are abound.  And today this country enjoys one of the greatest rates of economic growth in all of Asia – 6%.  Despite this symbol of prosperity, the end of suffering is still a distant dream for many.  But hopefully, with responsible and sustainable development, the gaps between rich and poor can be bridged.  It is not easy to face the reality of daily life for many here, though I know in my heart that today is like heaven on earth compared to what it was like 25-35 years ago.  I can’t help but engage my mind and spirit on the people of all ages that work so hard for so little. Powerful feelings of love and compassion comes over me as I make eye contact and say hello.  I can almost see within, actually be within another.  And at each glance an exchange of energy occurs, its up to us to make it positive or make it negative.  I just can’t bring it upon myself to bring any negativity to this rich & complex land, it needs all the love we can bring.  Ignoring them feels like a horrible sin to me.  They are children, so many robbed of a decent childhood.  They are human.  We are all human.  And yet there is so much beauty here.  It’s just a matter of how you make sense of panorma of history, culture, and spirituality.

Cambodian artist outside Ta Prohm

Then there is the cambodian smile.  I have never before seen such beautiful smiles.  Each and every one is a ray of light and hope in this landscape of wonderous history and quest for survival.  The glow that emenates from each individual is remarkable in its own right.  And I hear giggles and laughter often accompanying the gleeful Cambodian smiles.  Where do these smiles come from?  So much joy from such a painful past.  How incredible.  Most people here have created a unique niche for themselves.  While one woman is a masseuse, another man is a Tuk Tuk driver, and another is a palm reader.  A local artist creates jewlery out of the metal from old used bullets, the remnants and reminders of a time past.  And a street shop proprietor cuts up durian fruit for sale to all who pass by.  Cambodia is in many ways a land of opportunity for this with the entrepreneur spirit and drive.  Social enterprise appears to be the single most important ingredient to restoring & building a more peaceful Cambodia.  To experiencing joy in daily life in Cambodia.

Both love and joy for Cambodia are felt throughout my soul.

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